


The Celegorm Incident

by LadyBrooke



Series: Really, Curufin? - Tales of a Conceited Child [2]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crossdressing, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2018-01-02 22:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1062337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBrooke/pseuds/LadyBrooke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One spring day, Celegorm spies a fair maiden under a tree. </p>
<p>How could anyone ever blame him for not recognizing all his cousins?</p>
<p>A side story to "Curvo, the Lonely".</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Celegorm Incident

**Author's Note:**

> Several times in "Curvo, the Lonely" it's mentioned that there was incident between Celegorm and Orodreth, while the latter was wearing a dress. This is that incident, as well as a possible explanation for the ongoing feud they have in several of my stories.

It was a well-known fact throughout Valinor that Celegorm, Son of Fëanor, was a bit of a ladies man. In fact, the gossip columns each day were filled of stories of which girl he was supposedly pursueing now and rumors of having proposed marriage to one of them (the rumors of proposals were always false). However, as a result of all this time spent chasing girls around, Turko spent very little time with his cousins. In fact, he had not seen some of them up close in several years.

One day, as he was strolling through the countryside, he spied a maiden asleep on the grass. She was quite beautiful, with long hair down to her waist and had her face done up with makeup quite becomingly. He was somewhat surprised that he had not seen her before, as he thought he knew all the girls in this part of Valinor. Perhaps she was visiting from Taniquetil. No matter, she would fall to his charms the same as the rest of the girls had. Settling down in the grass, he waited for her to wake up.

~

Finally, a few hours later, she woke up. In the meantime, he had been staring at every inch of her body that was visible (Caranthir would have said this was creepy. However, since Caranthir had never had a girlfriend, Celegorm felt free to disregard anything he said.) By now, he knew that she had a tiny little scar on the left side of her collar bone, and he wondered how she had acquired it. Girls weren’t meant to fight, they were supposed to be fought over! He also noticed that her hands were stained with ink and she had several books stacked beside her. Clearly, she was a somewhat educated elf. This would be helpful, since Atar had already said that they weren’t allowed to marry any of the little gossip queens that ran around tittering like sparrows.

Celegorm had almost been hit with a vase when he had asked if this meant they were tossing Maglor out on the streets, since everyone kept saying he sang like a bird. How was he supposed to know that Maglor was that touchy about it?

Finally, her eyes were fully open. Celegorm noticed that they were pure blue, like the ocean. And then she screamed.

“WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?!?” Her voice was a bit deeper than he had thought it would be, but no matter.

“Because I wanted to,” he said, flipping his hair over his shoulder.

She stared at him befuddled for a few minutes, and then suddenly spoke, “Oh….my….Eru. You think I’m a…” Then she burst out laughing.

Celegorm frowned. “I think you’re a what? I don’t like being laughed at, you know.”

“You think I’m a girl,” she said, still cracking up.

Celegorm blinked, “Of course you’re a girl, what else would you be, a tree? You’re wearing a dress.”

The elf now sat up and was still laughing, “I’m wearing a dress because it’s comfortable.”

“I wouldn’t know that. I’m a boy, and boys don’t wear dresses, as you know,” he grumbled.

“Who says boys don’t wear dresses? Our culture is so static – we should all be allowed to wear whatever we want,” she continued.

Celegorm snorted, “Boys wear pants and girls were dresses. It’s good so that nobody gets confused.”

The elf countered, “Doesn’t seem to be doing you much good. Then again, if you spent less time chasing the girls, and more time with your family, you might actually recognize your cousins.”

Celegorm frowned, “I only have one cousin who is a girl, and you’re far too old to be her.”

“Must I explain it to you?” the elf rolled her eyes. “I’m not a girl.”

“But you’re wearing a dress! And if you’re not a girl, who are you then?”

“Orodreth, as you would know if you joined your brothers once in a while, instead of fulfilling what seems to be your goal of getting in the gossip section every day,” he spoke.

“But Orodreth’s a boy,” Celegorm said.

“Yes, I do know my own gender,” Orodreth rolled his eyes.

Celegorm suddenly backed away, “Do you have any idea what this will do to my reputation if anybody finds out that I thought my cousin was a girl and almost kissed him?!? The girls in Tirion will want nothing to do with me anymore, they’ll think I’m using them as a cover for something, and then I’ll be all alone, and THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”

He raised an eyebrow, “How is this all my fault?”

“If you hadn’t being wearing that stupid dress, I wouldn’t have stopped!” Celegorm wailed.

“Right. Well, I’m not about to stop wearing it just because you can’t tell your own cousin apart from a girl,” Orodreth stated.

Celegorm suddenly grabbed Orodreth and yanked him forward, “You can’t tell anybody about this. Do you understand me?”

“Why would I need to tell anybody? Your brothers are already watching you from behind that tree over there, you know,” he said.

Celegorm dropped him to the ground and spun around, moaning. Yes, he could now see the three idiots trying to stifle their laughter. Great, just great, they were going to tell everybody, he just knew it. 

Suddenly, he lost it. Turning around, he tried to punch Orodreth, who dunked and then threw one back. 

The next thing they knew, Maedhros, Maglor, and Caranthir were dragging them apart as each struggled to hit each other. As Celegorm was dragged away by Maedhros and Maglor, he yelled back at Orodreth.

“Your hair isn’t even that pretty, it looks dirty!” and with those words, started one of the longest running fights in Valinor.


End file.
